In August 2016 we were put in a situation that meant we had to do long distance in order to keep both of us happy, and to achieve a huge couple goal. Visa complications meant we had to endure 3 long months apart on opposite sides of the world.
Looking back now it really was the best outcome that could’ve happened for our relationship and was the best solution for both of us to get what we wanted. Though at the time it seemed like the hardest thing, especially since we’ve never had to spend more than 2 weeks apart in a whole 3 years.
After doing long distance for 3 months we came up with many strategies for maintaining a happy healthy long distance relationship that never lost it’s spark. If you are currently going through a long distance relationship, here are some tips to help you both get through it…
1. Talk On Different Social Media Channels
With the amount of social media channels these days you may as well explore the different ways to communicate with your long distance lover. It makes it interesting to not always look at your phone and see a Facebook message, but instead an email, or a Snapchat. A few apps you could use are Instagram Direct Messaging, Whatsapp, iMessage, Facebook Messenger, Snapchat, Email and FaceTime. You could even go back in time and send a handwritten letter, which is a really thoughtful gesture in today’s tech obsessed world.
We also found a cool app called bitmoji, where you create an avatar of yourself and it has every emotion you can think of. It links to your keyboard on your smartphone and can be used with most social messaging channels. We had a lot of fun with these.
2. Have A Set Time When You Chat
Try not to swamp your partner and overload them with messages and be conciencous that they might be busy at the time you’re trying to get in touch. Morning and night messages are a must though, because it’s cute.
3. Send Regular Selfies
You’re missing each other, nothing will cheer up your long distance lover more than seeing a new smiley picture of you if you’re too busy for a FaceTime. Snap chat is awesome for this because you can record your day without having to chat in real time, especially if time zones are an issue. It was so nice to wake up to a whole snapchat story of what our lover had been up during their day, while we were sleeping on the other side of the world.
4. Find Creative Ways To Get Your Sexual Fix
Let’s face it, sexual attraction is an important part of any serious relationship and by not physically being around each other, those desires can turn into frustration. You will have to get creative with your partner in a way you are both comfortable, and technology makes it very easy these days.
5. Be 100% Committed & Trust Is A Must
It would be quite silly to invest your emotions if you’re both not fully committed to your long distance relationship. Make sure you’re both on the same wavelength and have un-doubtful trust for one another before making the decision to get into a long distance relationship.
6. Do Things Together
Find things you can do together that you don’t have to physically be together to do, like writing a blog, watching the same tv series or playing phone games together like ‘Words With Friends’ for example. Doing things together makes it easier to maintain that connection.
7. Get Into A Routine & Stay Busy To Kill Time
If you’re wanting time to go as quick as possible then the sooner you get into a daily routine, the quicker time will fly. Use this time to reconnect with family and friends or do activities you enjoy to replace the time you’d usually be with your partner.
8. Have Lots Of Social Interactions
Make sure you don’t just lock yourself away in a cave without speaking to anyone. Social interactions will help you take your mind off your lover and sharing your feelings with others will ease the pain (just don’t bore them with your problems for too long!).
9. Send Each Other Gifts
It’s always a nice surprise when you get something through the post, especially if its from your significant other. Sandy and I don’t usually do presents, but this year our birthdays happened to be during our time apart so we sent each other gifts, which put huge grins on our faces. Knowing the way to your lover’s heart is even better than just a random gift, Sandy received a surprise bouquet of flowers which I know she loves, while I received a box of classic Australian chocolate. I didn’t have the willpower to take a photo of it before it got eaten though.
10. You’ve Got To Have Faith
Since you’re both fully committed and trust each other, you need to have faith and believe that everything will be exactly how you want it to be at the end of your time apart. There are going to be skeptics and people who question your compatibility…f**k those people and avoid them if you can. You should never have to justify your relationship to anyone, because at the end of the day you can’t choose who you fall in love with. Hold onto that vision of being reunited.
11. Have A Goal And An End Date
The most important thing. Having a goal and an end date of your time apart will help all of the above string together.
12. Get Excited About Future Plans
Talk about what you’re plans are for when you meet again, and get excited about it together. For us it was Bali and traveling around South East Asia together.
Getting through 3 months apart has built a lot of trust and made our relationship much stronger as a result. We now know that if we were ever in a situation where we had to be apart, we could do it again. It’s helped us regain our individuality, and it’s refreshing knowing that whatever we decided to do in life, we’ll never have to feel held back by the other. In saying that though, it’s safe to say we’d never want to go that long apart again!
Now that we’ve done it, it’s an amazing feeling to be reunited again.
If you’re in or about to go through long distance with your partner, remember why you’re doing it and hold on to that vision. There is a light at the end of the tunnel and if we can get through it, then so can you.
Did you find these tips helpful? Have you experienced a long distance relationship before? Leave us a comment below…
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